Asexuality: 1 in a 100

So. I don't post about sex much (or ever?) for a number of reasons that I choose not to discuss at this time. In an effort to diversify the content of Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, I wanted to highlight an issue that I barely knew existed: asexuality.

Our friends at Wikipedia explain that asexuality is "a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction." Yes, alright. But what does that MEAN?! (Also, interestingly, this post is listed as part of the LGBT Portal, which doesn't seem to fit to me. Thoughts?)

A recent ABC News article (Asexuals push for greater recognition, 1/16/09) explores the asexual orientation a bit further. David Jay, a 26-year-old grad student and founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, explains his motivation for creating greater awareness of asexuality:

"The problem is not that there is too much discussion about sex; 99 percent of the world really, really likes sex, so it is something that should be talked about openly and honestly," Jay said. "But we need to have more discussion about how people can not have sex and still be happy."

And this is coming from someone who hasn't taken an oath of celibacy? Who isn't "born again"? Who doesn't have a Top 40 single and a mammoth tween following? Curious, very curious.

I checked out Jay's website, AVEN, and was surprised to find an enormous amount of thoughtful, well-articulated information. Not that I thought that asexual people are stupid... I just wasn't expecting to "get" what they were all about.

My biggest question was about arousal: do they ever feel it? Here's what AVEN had to say:

For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure.

Interesting. So, it's not that there's no sexual activity, it's just there's no partnered sexual activity. AVEN is explicit about the fact that companionship is still desired and attraction still occurs for asexuals, but they look different than in a typical hetero-, homo-, bi-, trans-, etc. sexual relationship.

AVEN also has links to asexual-interest blogs. From just the few posts I browsed, many are thoughtful and bring light to the asexuality that exists all around us. From asexy beast, the author writes about asexual themes in movies, like Amelie and Wall-E. (The Trouble With Movies, 1/11/09) Amelie is one of my favorite movies, and I never thought about it that way, mostly because when the two weirdos DO get together in the last 90 seconds, it's pretty hot. But asexy beast does make an interesting point.

(Can I just say... I almost wish I were asexual because it would just cut out a whole lot of wasted time (not the actual sex part! the thinking about it). And just the fact that this blogger would not ever want to have sex with me, makes me want to seduce them... and I think that's wrong.)

I learned a lot today. From now on, I promise to limit how often I refer to my close friends as "asexual" who haven't dated in awhile (ever?). Or maybe that's something I was just born with: being an a-hole.