Asexuality: 1 in a 100

So. I don't post about sex much (or ever?) for a number of reasons that I choose not to discuss at this time. In an effort to diversify the content of Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, I wanted to highlight an issue that I barely knew existed: asexuality.

Our friends at Wikipedia explain that asexuality is "a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction." Yes, alright. But what does that MEAN?! (Also, interestingly, this post is listed as part of the LGBT Portal, which doesn't seem to fit to me. Thoughts?)

A recent ABC News article (Asexuals push for greater recognition, 1/16/09) explores the asexual orientation a bit further. David Jay, a 26-year-old grad student and founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, explains his motivation for creating greater awareness of asexuality:

"The problem is not that there is too much discussion about sex; 99 percent of the world really, really likes sex, so it is something that should be talked about openly and honestly," Jay said. "But we need to have more discussion about how people can not have sex and still be happy."

And this is coming from someone who hasn't taken an oath of celibacy? Who isn't "born again"? Who doesn't have a Top 40 single and a mammoth tween following? Curious, very curious.

I checked out Jay's website, AVEN, and was surprised to find an enormous amount of thoughtful, well-articulated information. Not that I thought that asexual people are stupid... I just wasn't expecting to "get" what they were all about.

My biggest question was about arousal: do they ever feel it? Here's what AVEN had to say:

For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure.

Interesting. So, it's not that there's no sexual activity, it's just there's no partnered sexual activity. AVEN is explicit about the fact that companionship is still desired and attraction still occurs for asexuals, but they look different than in a typical hetero-, homo-, bi-, trans-, etc. sexual relationship.

AVEN also has links to asexual-interest blogs. From just the few posts I browsed, many are thoughtful and bring light to the asexuality that exists all around us. From asexy beast, the author writes about asexual themes in movies, like Amelie and Wall-E. (The Trouble With Movies, 1/11/09) Amelie is one of my favorite movies, and I never thought about it that way, mostly because when the two weirdos DO get together in the last 90 seconds, it's pretty hot. But asexy beast does make an interesting point.

(Can I just say... I almost wish I were asexual because it would just cut out a whole lot of wasted time (not the actual sex part! the thinking about it). And just the fact that this blogger would not ever want to have sex with me, makes me want to seduce them... and I think that's wrong.)

I learned a lot today. From now on, I promise to limit how often I refer to my close friends as "asexual" who haven't dated in awhile (ever?). Or maybe that's something I was just born with: being an a-hole.

Best USA Cities for Women & Men

The Women's Health Magazine published a report recently listing the BEST and WORST cities for women to live in.

Want to see if you're going to live a long life or die in a mushroom cloud of pollution? Look at the map. Actually, it doesn't give that information, and the city you live in probably isn't even on the rankings. I just like to look at these things.

FYI--the magazine goes into great detail about how fabulous and accurate their rankings are. If you care enough to be convinced, browse the preamble here.

Not to be outdone, Men's Health Magazine published their OWN MAP. Take that.

Fitness on a budget!

Even though gyms have been slashing prices to attract New Year's Resolutionees, it's difficult to find a decent membership for under $50 a month. Sure, you can use the YMCA or your local rec center or your university's facilities, but if you're like me, it's hard to utilize those money-saving options and still get a satisfying workout. (Issues like overcrowding, sub-standard equipment, and creepy old guys tend to make me a flight risk at the Y.)

That's why I was excited to get last week's e-newsletter from the National Women's Health Resource Center. The feature article was 9 Great Ways To Stay Fit Without Breaking Your Budget. Great timing!

While there aren't any ground-breaking suggestions, it's a really thoughtful article with some good tips. Notable suggestions include:

• Make ordinary moments count. Fitness expert Shirley Archer says, "When you brush your teeth, do a set of 20 to 25 squats, as your fitness permits." Sure! I just stand there awkwardly anyway. Why not throw in something productive?
• Break your exercise boredom cheaply. Check out the programming on the fitness channel (if you have cable), rent new DVDs from the library (Sweatin' to the Oldies!) or go to the American Counsel on Exercise's Exercise Library, a website that I am extremely impressed with and will be highlighting often.
• Look for bargains. They suggest that you do your homework on gym memberships before committing to one, so you get the best deal. If you're in the market for fitness equipment, look on Craigslist or sign up for Freecycle. And personally, I always look forward to nice weather so I can drive through the neighborhoods looking at all the crap people try to get rid of (otherwise known as garage/yard/tag sales). Also, Play It Again Sports. *Note: I think it goes without saying, but it's always a good idea to test drive any item before you complete the purchase.

I've been in a workout slump recently, so these ideas have helped kick-start me back into a schedule. I'm excited to do squats when I brush my teeth tomorrow morning!

Who cares about steroids?

Do you care about steroids? I'm not sure if I do, but it's been a hot topic in the last couple years, what with the Major League Baseball fiasco including the Mitchell Report, congressional hearings and the continuing controversy surrounding Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Andy Pettitte, Jason Giambi, et. al.

What really prompted this post is a 'roids site (Can you shorten it to "roids", or does that refer to hemorrhoids? Help!) I came across called Steroids Live, a pro-steroids blog that is "intended to inform and educated athletes, bodybuilders and the general public about anabolic steroids." Fair enough.

If anything, "Dr. Stevens" seems to be working against his cause. Besides the obvious grammatical errors (have you heard of a comma?) and nonsensical writing, the ultimate question is never even addressed: WHAT IS THE POINT? Clearly, I'm not of the target audience, but who is? How do you even become someone who is thinking about steroids?

Also, the office where I work get the American Journal of Public Health, which I read when the boss is out of the office (and sometimes take home). The December 2008 issue includes a study that looked at steroid usage in relation to violence.*

The results? They suggest that steroid use is related to "heightened levels of violent behaviors," and that the media attention and public concern surrounding this issue is justified "given its association with violence among males in the United States."

This seems to address Steroid Lives' issue in Roid Rage, Myth or Real Danger???, so I'll just leave it at that.

*Beaver, K., Vaughn, M.G., DeLisi, M., Wright, J.P. (2008) Anabolic-Androgenic Steroid Use and Involvement in Violent Behavior in a Nationally Representative Sample of Young Adult Males in the United States. American Journal of Public Health, 2185-7.

Digest a 'la Simone: Thinking=Eating, Excuses

Two recent suggestions from my friend Simone.

From Jezebel, I'm not fat, I'm just smart details the findings of a new study that found that people consume more calories following "intellectual work" than after relaxing. Apparently, doing a crossword or Sudoku puzzle causes people to eat more calories than say, staying at wall. (That is, of course, unless your name is Henry David Thoreau.)

The study's main author, Jean-Phillipe Chaput hypothesized that this could be a contributing factor "to the obesity epidemic currently observed in industrialized countries."

Meh. I don't know about this study. Something seems off.

Firstly, the problem is not just the consumption of more calories--it's the consumption of bad calories. When most people snack during the work day or during finals or whenever, it's most crap food: chips, cookies, and crunchy salty sweet things.

Secondly, this implies that a lot of people (specifically, people with weight problems) are doing a great deal of heavy thinking, if you will. Really? I don't know.

From Lifehacker, Why Your Self-Handicapping Excuses Don't Work (And How to Fix Them) highlights a NY Times article discussing self-handicapping.

Self-handicapping is something that everyone does on occasion, but people who do it regularly are generally seen as annoying. Who wants to hear excuses all the time? (Otherwise known as whining.)

To protect our fragile egos, we've all thrown out the occasional "my dog ate my homework" type excuse, but for people who do it often, it becomes an exercise in self delusion. The Times cites some interesting information:

Studies of college students have found that habitual handicappers — who skip a lot of classes; who miss deadlines; who don’t buy the textbook — tend to rate themselves in the top 10 percent of the class, though their grades slouch between C and D.

It's one thing to miss an occasional deadline, forget an appointment, etc. but when the same thing happens consistently with the same reasons for failure being offered, it's not healthy.

The Times also points out that if someone else is giving excuses for you, people won't hate you. But they don't explain how to get other people into doing it... I suspect the trick is to recruit someone with an extra dose of patience and sympathy.

Good luck with that!