Organic Alcohol and You: An Introduction

Whilst perusing Gourmet.com for new things to cook, I came across a drink recipe for The Brad Pitt:

2 wedges of organic lime
2 thin slices fresh organic cucumber
Sprig of organic mint
2 oz (1/4 cup) Crop Organic cucumber vodka
3 to 4 oz seltzer

Because only an "organic" adult beverage created in your honor can ease the searing pain caused by six screaming children, while simultaneously offsetting the fact that your family goes through enough diapers every 3 days to fill a dumpster. It's all about the carbon footprint, brother.

So--Organic alcohol, huh? It's an interesting concept, albeit one that has not entirely convinced me.

I attempted to Google "organic alcohol facts" but of course, like any good organic product, the most thorough and convincing statistics and "facts" are right there in the caption of the stock photos of the dazzling organic spirits.

TRU Vodka has the best arsenal of information answering the question, "Whats the point?" According to the post Is organic liquor more pure or just pure hype? from the TRU blog, "In 2008, the U.S. consumed more than 184 million cases or 2.2 billion bottles of distilled spirits. That took more than 1.1 million acres of farmland to produce, which is slightly smaller than the state of Delaware." They go on to detail the amount of fertilizer, pesticides and water it takes to conventionally farm this area, which is to say A LOT. By cultivating the crop organically, they eliminate chemical fertilizers and pesticides from the equation. Additionally, TRU uses special recyclable bottles and soy-based ink for the labeling and oh, by the way-- they also plant a tree in South America for every bottle they produce. (So, are they actually turning a profit?)

More telling, perhaps, is an FAQ for the Advertising, Labeling and Formulation Division of the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. As we get more obsessed with living "greenly", companies obviously realize that if they're able to advertise with some sort of organic claim, they're likely to see an increase in profit. Here are the four basic National Organic Program Categories for alcoholic beverages:

1. “100% Organic” has all organic ingredients with no chemically added sulfites.
2. “Organic” has at least 95% organic ingredients with no chemically added sulfites.
3. “Made with Organic [Ingredients]” has at least 70% organic ingredients and may contain chemically added sulfites.
4. Products containing less than 70% organic ingredients and products that are not processed by a certified organic handling operation may only disclose organic content in a non-conspicuous “Ingredients Statement”.

Good to know, huh? You never realize that to be labeled an "organic" product you don't even need to have purely organic ingredients. I often wonder why the code is necessary, though--couldn't you just write "95% organic ingredients"? God forbid we use the package label to accurately disclose what the product contains. One time in high school, I got into a heated argument with a classmate about the nature of marketing and how it is evil and misleading. I may have suggested that grocery stores simply print the name of the food item on the package and nothing more. Example:
Simple, tasteful, uncluttered by health claims. Looking back, I may have been *bit* unreasonable in my Stalin-esque need for simplicity and uniformity. Still, should we have to decipher 1,000 different carefully worded claims to health? What's the point of having such specific labeling regulations if the average consumer has no idea what the hell anything means?!

Whoa. Sorry. Moving on.

So far I've only mentioned organic liquors, but the organic wines and brews are probably more popular. The Organic Consumer's Association offers a bit more information on organic wine, and specifically about sulfites, which are used as a preservative. Interestingly, Real Green encourages consumers to drink organic beer, wine and spirits not only because it's good for the environment blah blah blah, but also because it tastes better. Hmm. This is a claim I cannot personally confirm or deny, but I'd like to volunteer to participate in the taste tests.

As with any organic product, health claims also arise. A NY Daily News article from last summer suggests that the reason you should ingest organic alcohol has less to do with your carbon footprint and more to do with your sorry ass the morning after a bender. Writer/drinker Sean Evans conducted a "scientific experiment" where he drank a lot of organic alcohol one night and then two days later drank a lot of regular alcohol.

The morning after the organic binge:

And it wasn’t that bad. There was no headache, and at first everything felt groggy. But despite being slightly slow, after a quick shower nearly all symptoms had dissipated. There was no nausea, no stomach pain; no normal hangover feelings.

The morning after the regular alcohol binge was a bit rougher, to say the least. However, a post at Fermentarium responding to this so-called experiment points out some important facts about hangovers:

Hangovers are caused by dehydration, the breakdown of ethanol, and natural by-products from the fermentation of the beverage... Ethanol dehydrates your body. When you drink a lot, you tend to urinate a lot. The removal of water from your system causes headaches, nausea, and makes you tired. The only possible way organic alcohol could have less of a dehydrating effect would be if it had less ethanol. The author claimed he matched the alcohol content for his drinks in his experiment, so there should be no difference in the effect.

Touche. Despite how the grain or grapes or whatever is cultivated (conventionally or organically), alcohol is produced by the same biological process. It seems unlikely that organically grown fruit or grain would have a huge effect on the impact of alcohol on the body. More likely, the Fermentarium points out, Evans just wanted the NY Daily News to pay for two nights of drinking and he had to come to SOME conclusion.

Lastly, let's talk about price. How does the organic wine, beer and spirits compare cost-wise? According to a quick Google, the organic varieties compare pretty favorably. No, you're not going to be able to pick up a handle of organic vodka for $7.99, but there appear to be some brands in the $20 range. Also, one brand appeared on the website of my favorite Boston-area liquor store chain, Blanchard's, so hopefully it's something I can pick up in the store if I feel so moved. (Which I probably won't, but the chances are higher if I can actually see and touch the bottle. Because let's be honest: what self-respecting 24-year-old would buy alcohol off the internet?! The S&H fees alone could pay for like 2 meals.)

So that's the 411. I'd like to try some of this organic booze, but cost and availability are big issues. Does anyone have any experience they'd like to share?

P.S. Speak of the devil-- The North American Organic Brewers Festival is taking place in 2 weeks in my lovely hometown of Portland, Oregon: June 26-28. Follow the link for more information and tell me how delicious the beer was if you make it!